Don't say it unless you mean it

Comedy is subjective.   What is considered taboo is in the eye of the beholder, and humour is often used to gain access to something that is difficult to get your mind around.   Sometimes it’s hard to know what will be deemed a generally odious comment or whether I am more sensitive to a particular issue.  The distinction becomes even trickier when I have PMS.

I love twitter.  Most of the people that I follow are comedians and comedy writers, overall funny people that tell me jokes for free all day and night and it is by far my favourite distraction.   I also follow a few musicians and other celebrities that I have a particular interest in, for whatever reason. (Hi, @BostonRob!)

I enjoy Rainn Wilson on The Office and I thought that The Rocker was adorable.   I followed him because I was interested in his Soul Pancake website, but never found his twitter jokes to be funny, timely or well crafted.  So when I read this:

“If I were ever date raped I would want it to be to “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin.“

I registered that I found it in poor taste, and also that I didn’t think it was funny.   I wasn’t offended.   I just thought it was a bad joke in poor taste from a guy that I didn’t expect better from.  I didn’t even think about it until Joshua Malina brought it up the next morning, wondering where Rainn’s apology was.  I knew what he was referring to immediately. 

Soon enough, the apology came.  This time I was offended:

“Apparently my poorly conceived date-rape tweet upset a lot of folks. Not a good topic to joke about. Sorry & won't do that again.”

That first line sounds like a sigh and an eye roll to me.  If I was at all distraught or contrite over the potentially offensive comment that I made to nearly three million followers I would consider wording my apology carefully.  And I am not offended by the idea that he was careless with his apology.  I am offended because I believe that he wasn’t.   This translates to “I’m sorry if you didn’t think my joke was funny” and I’d rather he just said that than this passive aggressive teenage attempt at getting out of a lecture. 

Here is a sample of the @ replies attached to the apology:

@SissySilverwood: @rainnwilson didnt see it but people r way to sensitive these days! i was date raped, whatever, moved on!

@jimelliot1: @rainnwilson I thought it was hilarious don't let the squeamish masses stop you from being funny

@AliM1986: @rainnwilson Fuck these overly sensitive cunts. That was funny.

@steven91C: @rainnwilson You're an actor and comedian, Rainn... The Dice Man and Richard Pryor gained fame for their fearless humor! Legends man!

@savvystark: @rainnwilson that shit was funny. Bitches be trippin.

@MEK215: Kudos to @rainnwilson for the apology. He does a lot of good work & I'd hate to see that overshadowed by one bad joke.

@Staceface11: @rainnwilson You should have known better in the first place but thank you for acknowledging you were wrong and apologizing.

@Potpixie82:  @rainnwilson I laughed right out loud & retweeted it! Twitter is supposed to be fun and relaxed. People are to damn serious!

@moose5050: @rainnwilson don't b a pussy say what you want this America not communist china

@softenthesilenc: @rainnwilson Fuck em'. Who doesn't love a good date rape tweet every once in a while?

@CAPITAL_CED: @rainnwilson theres always room for a lil date rape <3

@superman8907: @rainnwilson rape is such a strong word. I prefer "snuggle struggle."

@ThatRyanGrace: @rainnwilson it's not rape if you say "Suprise!"

When I read Juiced by Jose Canseco, it became clear to me that it is not an athlete’s responsibility to act as a role model.  In Canseco’s circumstance, all he had to do was be good at baseball.  Publicly, Rainn Wilson is an actor and a director and in my estimation, he is gifted in his craft.   I am by no means saying that Rainn Wilson should be cognizant of how his words can inspire and influence the people that read them.   He does not have to answer to me, Josh Malina or anybody else for what he deems comedic. 

But he did answer.  He made the lamest apology possible.  By saying “Not a good topic to joke about.”  rather than acknowledging why people might be offended by a joke about date rape, it comes off as him telling us that people do not know how to enjoy a joke about date rape.

And what is the response?  People are overwhelmingly joking about date rape.  I can’t know whether Rainn Wilson feels mortified or validated by the product of his apology.  He deleted the offending tweet.  I think he should do one step better and delete his bullshit apology, too. 

(The tweets that I posted are a sample in the order they appeared in the feed.  I did not manipulate them to weed ones the worst out.)